An unpredictable story...

It is my belief that we all live according to a narrative. The stories we tell ourselves are powerful promoters of thoughts, feelings and actions. I see the outworking of this in my marriage. The other day in an argument, Jason questioned my conclusion about his behavior. I discovered that my interpretation of the situation was based on one of the roles I've traditionally scripted Jason to play. Here are a few of the stories I tell myself and the consequential behavior it leads to.

1. I am the hard worker in our marriage and he is the smart one - I clean and he reads
2. Jason is a night owl and Kara is the early bird- He tucks me in nightly and I try to rouse him in the wee hours of the afternoon.
3. Kara is the emotional one and Jason is the logical one- Kara plays the emotionally disturbed individual while Jason is the hero who convinces her that all is well.

These stories are true in part but are far from the whole. The high price for the type of black and white certainty I am drawn to is FREEDOM and HOPE- for change. In addition, I often lack acceptance of change when it inevitably occurs. Caught in the prescribed roles of my story I forget that both Jason and I possess the ability to create our own lines. I like scripts as they provide a sense of security, I can read ahead and know how it is all going to turn out. The script I've been living by and imposing on my husband isn't consistent with the Christian narrative I embrace as it lacks the potential for human change and growth.

This week we laughed at some of our recent observations:
1. On several occasions Jason has dragged me to bed after midnight.
2. Jason cleaned the toilet.
3. He was up 2x this week before me
4. He showered before we went out and I didn't!
5. A recent conversation:

Kara: lets invite people over
Jason: tonight?
Kara: how about right now?
Jason: I thought you'd want us to clean up the place first?
Kara: It's not that messy.

I blogged a few weeks ago about my new found appreciation and enjoyment of surprises- I think my thoughts today are connected. I am eager to be surprised as Jason and I create the pages of our novel together- i love unpredictable books that hold me in suspense and force me to read on......